Another year of the Elite Extravaganza that is WrestleMania is in the books. The beautiful thing about this time of the year is, this is where WWE puts all their repetitive wisdom aside and comes up with Gold. The magical build-ups, the intense promos, etc everyone’s on the ball when the Road to WrestleMania rolls along and the culmination in the show itself always delivers without fail.
This year was no different. I have seen some dildos call this the best WrestleMania in recent years but i wont go that far. This cant touch the epicness that was WrestleMania XXIV and XXVI according to this Pendleton. Lot of fury as well as praise about this year is ready to be unleashed from my closet and without further skulduggery letsdewittttttt.
What a sick intro to raise the curtains! I cant believe we are being fed The Rock vs Fruity Pebbles and Cookie Monster vs Y2J in the same night. Yes, that’s WrestleMania for you. The stage where the most cherished dreams are realized.
Ok, Bring on the spectacle.
DANIEL BRYAN VS SHEAMUS for the World Heavyweight Title
I hate to start this with a sore note and dampen the spirits. If i convey my thoughts on this farce first, might as well bear witness an Earthquake marked at 10.2 in the Richter Scale. Yes, you read that right. Instead of this ‘curtain-killer’ i’ll begin the festivities with my most anticipated match of the night.
Whoa There and read this carefully.
CHRIS JERICHO IS STILL THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT HE DOES
This is an axiom. Axioms don’t change. They don’t change forever let along due to a solitary match result. Raise your hand if anyone disagrees. And in the same way you raised your hand, get smooth the f*** outta here with that bullshit. Y2J cemented his legacy that night. He tapped out to Punk for godsake. He came to back to give back to the sport that made him and he did it. That’s what you call greatness.
Jericho and CM Punk took the hard but deserving ride to the top. Both wrestled in bingo halls, learned the craft from the best, worked their way through the rock bottom and got themselves into WWE. Y2J knows firsthand how vigorous routine that was. How much sweat and blood it took to get where he is now. He sees a kid similar to him and he unselfishly came back to put him on the map. CM Punk is a star now. He beat Y2J at WM. I bow down to you Chris, You are a diamond in this business.
Chris Jericho is the best entertainer to set foot on WWE. Interrupting the Rock to debut, First Undisputed Champion, Creator of Money In Bank i could go on on. This was the best match of the night. From epic return videos, the build-up…..everything was so poetic. The ring physiology…man this was it. I ate the whole match with a f****** spoon.(26.00-57.00)
Jericholic 4 life!
DANIEL BRYAN VS SHEAMUS for the World Heavyweight Title
This was a bad joke. A real bad joke. ‘Yes’ man did not deserve this kind of treatment. Lose in 18 seconds? F*** you Vince. What the hell were you thinking? Is this a parody of ‘gone in 30 seconds’? I hope you heard the fans in the next match? They weren’t chanting Orton or Kane, they were screaming their lungs out ‘daniel bryan’ and ‘yes’ chants.
RANDY ORTON VS KANE
The sun is setting and what a breathtaking airshot of jampacked Sun Life Stadium that was. This was a good match. But hot damn! So surprised to see Big Red Monster pick up the win without even cheating. Mr. See No Evil really got me there.And yes I miss young Orton.
CODY RHODES VS THE BIG SHOW for the Intercontinental Title
Thanks heavens for letting us not experience Big Show’s ass again. I would have banged a tree had i was subjected to this kind of crapiloghy again. Rhodes is cool and all but Big Show earned this win for everything he did through the years for the company. Kudos to the big man.
END OF AN ERA- The Undertaker vs Triple H with Shawn Michaels as the Guest Referee
Tell me folks am i the only one who shakes his body and dances to the tune like a little child when Heart Break Kid comes from those isles?(2.15-4-45) I loved this then, i love this now and i’ll love it forever. There’s no WrestleMania without Mr. Wrestle Mania-The Greatest Performer of all time.
To the match and what a war it was. What emotions, What drama, What tension. What in the god’s green earth happened to Deadman’s haircut? Holy Moly, that Mohawk was sick! I would have been pissed off had The Game broke the streak. And props to him for not turning the Wrestling World upside down. Michaels played his part to a tee and it was so fitting to see three of them all in arms at the end.
No, this did not surpass what Deadman and Michaels did at WM XXV or XXVI but still this was way better than i expected. If given the chance what i would changed is the Mettalica music that was used during lowering the cage. This kind of environment only fits a demonic music for godsake. Return of Jim Ross was a nice touch too. Who could have called this battle than good old jr! Both men were ready to murder each other. Streak Lives!
Praise it while it lasts! My boy Wade Barrett is breaking it next year. See what i did there.
RATED R SUPERSTAR!
Edge is the Hall Of Fame. There’s no soul that’s happier for him. One of my permanent favourites. He’s Where He Belongs! #thankyouedge
Meh. Yeah, that’s basically it.
P.S- Admit it Vince. You keep doing this for us penis wrinkles to have our annual wank right? I aren’t gonna fall into your trap. Kelly Kelly doesn’t warrant anywhere near my crown jewel. Infact none of this heifers do! Feel sorry for Beth Phoenix though, she has to lose to some bimbo who comes out of nowhere. After Trish vs Mickie at WM XXII, you have replicated disaster after disaster and i’m fed up with women’s matches. Sad but true.
I cant stop laughing at the guy wearing the Hulkamania shirt in the left screen. Whatcha gonna do brotherrrrr? Fun times amigo, Fun times.
Johnny Ace got the win. Everything’s right with the world. But wait cunt stain, what travesty was it to let Long Island Iced Z-Zack Ryder- take the pinfall. Better yet, kicked in the nuts by Eve? What moron booked that? You think we are nincompoop punks? We saw it all before canuck. Whoever it is come out and see the sun. Please try to last a week without beating up the children even if they are not products of your untiring efforts.
THE ROCK VS JOHN CENA-Once In A Life Time
I’m Confused. I don’t know what to say. If the tradition had prevailed, Rock should have put over Cena last night. But as we all so it didn’t happen. I really wanted Cena to win and turn ‘heel’ but beggars cant be choosers i guess.
The crowd in this match sucked Elephant cock. Where was the pops? To the Canadian crowd in Sky Dome for Rock vs Hogan in WM XVIII to this, it was like a Rock ‘n’ Roll concert compared to a fart in a motel. Who hurt you Miami? I told you those visiting fans to use ‘protection’. Wouldn’t have anything to contemplate no? Or did a kid beat you to a drumstick? Seriously what was it?
The two entrances weren’t special too.And this is my favourite Cena entrance.
Rock has beaten Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan and John Cena now! Sweet F***! That’s a hell of resume! So apparently when Rock signed back with WWE he wasn’t going to lose Cena. Now go back and see what i said about Jericho. See my point? Get it? Got It? Good!
In retrospect glad it ended that way though. Rock’s committed to WWE again and has vowed to go after WWE title again. That’s pimpastic if you ask me.
Speaking of pimps, who the f*** is Machine Gun Kelly and Flo-Rida. You two cock munchers absolutely positively sucked. None of the theme songs could hold a candle to previous ones. For the record these are my favourite WM theme songs from previous editions.
Written In The Stars-Tinie Tempah
Snow-Red Hot Chilie Peppers
Light It Up-Rev Theory
I Made It-Kevin Rudolf
Be Yourself-Audio Slave
Big Time-The Sound Track Of Our Lives
This was a damn good WrestleMania. And the biggest shock was left………to Monday Night Raw!
The Lightning Struck dammit!
I’m fanboy again. Rocky’s after the title, Batista on the verge of a return and this beast is back!
How ironic is it that i posted this man vs Deadman last week pleading for something.
Yes! Ladies and Ger….errrr Gentlemen! The Beast Is Back! The Brock The F****** Lesnar is Back!
Big Man, to put it mildly I Missed You! #nohomo
The Freak Unleashed and F-5d The Cenation! Holy Cow! Here Comes The Pain! Lord Have Mercy On My Soul!